It is a New Year and New Year’s resolutions are on the top of most peoples “to-do-list” (loose weight, stop smoking, become rich …) but why not pay a little more attention to what you already have, and ensure that this is also on the list. I would like to take the time to make a personal reflection on an area of my life that I feel is essential for me and which I aim to pay even more focus on this year.

I am referring to friendships! Friends being the people who you speak to regularly, met perhaps every day or at least once every couple of weeks if they live nearby. The people who you trust and expect to be there no matter what, the people who you would trust as much as a family member, if not more because they are not immediately related to you and so come without family ties. Why not ensure that this year they do not only exist on your list but become a priority, ensure that this year you do not take them for granted, and that you give them the time they deserve.

As a “fly in” to this rainy, but incredibly beautiful country, I feel I have a certain insight to what it means to create friendships in a country that is not your own and so I do value them incredibly much. When I first came to Ireland, I knew nobody and as I became synonymous with my better half his friends became my friends, but never truly mine. Having friends in this instance meant so much to me! I wanted friends but did not know exactly how to go about getting some. You may laugh at this, what could possibly be difficult about it? Well, I am not sure if this applies to others going abroad, but I found that yes, of course I could very easily chat to people, hang out and socialise. However, it is not the same to “get on with” your colleagues and fellow students as to have them as your own personal friends. Creating friendships take time, even if the connection is there more or less immediately.

I never met any acquaintances that weren’t polite or including since I moved here, but it took time before I met someone who I could call my friend. She is now the godmother of one of my children and though we live busy lives and do not meet up all the time I count her as one of my closest friends and value her opinion very much. I have other friends of course but once again it took time to really get to know them and to be accepted and to accept them. Friendship is a two way system and it has to work both ways, and be wanted by both parties. One of my other friends were initially a customer for an organisation I used to work for, but when our paths met outside of work we instantly got on and I have learnt so much from her over the years and really enjoy her company. No matter how I met my various friends, I know that I can count on them and I would inevitably be there for them if they ever needed me.

What I would like to emphasise (perhaps both to myself and others) is that if you have something good going, work on it and show that you care. I am not proposing that you send them lots of flowers and be at their doors every couple of days, but I am simply suggesting that you keep letting them know that you are thinking of them, keep cultivating the friendship and make sure they know that you don’t take them for granted.

Don’t just be a friend act like one!